Shatterpoint
by Anonymous-cat
Summary: Parallel worlds are like gingerbread houses- the tiniest change can send them crashing to the ground. Rose Tyler has visited several different universes by now, but this is the first time she realised just how true that is.
1. Part 1 Tempatation

**Part 1- Temptation**

_She goes wandering off - parallel world, it's like a gingerbread house. All those temptations calling out…_

* * *

The first time I saw him again, I thought I was home.

Never mind that he was wearing leather again, instead of the pinstriped suit that was the favorite of this regeneration. Never mind the haunted look in his eyes; self-centeredly I may have put that down to him missing me. It was the same voice, same face, same body walking back to the TARDIS, so I never took the chance to take a second look.

He probably thought I was crazy when I first tackled him, but to his credit he didn't overreact, just stood there as I hugged him.

"What?"

"I came back," I whispered into his jacket, "I really did it… how's that for impossible?"

He obviously didn't know, because he didn't respond, either verbally or bodily, just stood there looking confused. After a moment I began to share his confusion, and backed away.

"Doctor?"

"That's me," he replied. "Terribly sorry, but I don't seem to have met you yet. That alright?"

"What?" I asked, stumped for a moment. Then it clicked. I swore under my breath. "Parallel world, right. Just… I didn't expect to run into a parallel you, that's all."

"Sorry, but did you just say parallel world?" he asked. Suddenly the cheerful demeanor was replaced with a disapproving, business-like one. He took out the sonic screwdriver- that hadn't changed, at least- and began scanning me. "Cause as far as I know, and I know quite a lot, messing about with parallelities is a dangerous business. What makes you think you're qualified to do it?"

"Cause I've traveled with you… well, a parallel you… and I know how dangerous it is, but trust me. I've got a reason."

"It must be a fairly pressing reason to justify ripping holes in the fabric of Reality," he said, his grip on my arm tightening as he finished the scan.

"If I don't keep on doing it, there might not be any Reality to mess with," I snapped back. "That a good enough reason?"

His eyes showed a flicker of surprise before returning to calm and collected. "Maybe. Why don't you come with me, have a little chat, and we'll see."

* * *

"That's when the stars started going out, and we _had_ to find some way of gettin' in touch with the other universe. Suddenly my pet project became priority number one. So they called researchers and scientists from all over the globe, and made the Dimension Cannon a reality. I've been making jumps ever since, but I can't seem to hit the right universe. And… well, that's how I ended up here, anyway," I finished, trailing to a stop.

I had told him pretty much everything. How could I not? I had wanted to talk with him for so long, sort things out, and here he was, his face, his voice… except it wasn't him, not really. But here in the TARDIS, familiar surroundings even if it wasn't my world, it was easier to forget, to pretend. Maybe I'd gone a bit too far.

I glanced over to see how he was taking it, but his face revealed nothing. It was impassive, bathed in the green light from the central column, and for a moment I wondered if I should have toned down my story. Been less emotional, just factual, giving no hint of what had happened between myself and the other him… well, too late now.

"How long?" he asked, finally speaking up.

"What?"

"How long has it been? For you, I mean. Since you've seen him." He was still refusing to look at me, just letting his gaze travel round the console room like I wasn't even there.

"It's been about three years, I guess."

"And you love him." Not a question, but I answered anyway.

"Yeah."

"And what about him, does he…" He doesn't finish the sentence. Typical.

"He never said," I whispered, my mind returning to that fateful day at Bad Wolf Bay. Those unspoken words have haunted me for the past three years, and it seemed like I would never get an answer.

"Up for a trip?" he asked suddenly, catching me completely off guard.

I wasn't sure if I had heard him right at first. "Wh…what?"

"A trip!" he repeated, "A journey, a one-time, round-trip excursion to somewhere, somewhen in this universe, all expenses paid for." He looked at me expectantly. "Well?"

"Well, I…" I stuttered. Then my communicator began beeping. I glanced down, feeling torn. But I had a job to do. "Sorry, but I can't."

He glanced at my device curiously. "Why?"

"Because my team has found has found a hole back into my universe," I explained. "We don't rip holes, we just use the ones that already exist- they're getting more and more frequent these days. But I've got just five minutes to transport home, or I have to wait for them to find another rip. That could take days."

"Not a problem, I can get you back within five minutes," he replied easily. "Did I forget to mention, it also travels in time?"

After that, of course, I had no choice.

* * *

He asked me where I'd like to go. And for a moment, I couldn't think of anything. Besides, any destination I could think of might not exist in this universe anyway. Then I remembered my adopted world, and the growing Darkness that had troubled us, and I knew where I wanted to go.

"Stars," I told him decidedly. "Take me somewhere where I can see the stars."

He raised his eyebrows but made no comment about my vague choice, simply threw down a lever and began operating the ship. I settled back to watch the familiar yet strange sight.

The truth is, I was feeling a bit lost just then, traveling with this man who wasn't… I couldn't say that he wasn't the proper Doctor, because I learned long ago that no universe is the proper one. Either all of them are real or none of them are… but he wasn't _my_ Doctor. The one I knew, who knew me. And yet he looked so familiar, dashing around the console like mad. It was almost enough to make me feel at home.

Feeling the need to break the silence, I asked him, "So, you never even met me then, in this world?"

He glanced at me curiously. "I would think that would be obvious," he stated wryly. "You said on your world, we met during an Auton invasion… as it happens, that did occur in this universe, but I never met anyone in the cellar."

"What happened, then?" I asked curiously. "How did you get rid of the Nestene Consciousness?"

He paused for a moment, eyes hard. "You said you're familiar with regeneration. Then you should know that being close in proximity to a Time Lord who is undergoing the process can be fatal. Too much energy for some species to handle. The Nestene Consciousness happened to be one of them."

The blunt answer startled me, and I suddenly remembered something I had told the Doctor on the night we met. _You'd be dead if it weren't for me,_ I had joked. It was more than a bit eerie to realize it was the truth.

Uneasy, I attempted to change the subject. "What about afterwards, though? You never… met anyone, traveled with anyone? Someone else?"

"There was someone," he told me after a long pause. "A woman named Martha. But…" He lapsed into silence, obviously remembering. For a moment, I felt a tinge of jealousy. I had to remind myself that this wasn't my Doctor, and anyway, this woman might not even exist in my original universe. Still, after hearing the longing in his voice, I felt… awkward.

"What happened to her?"

He raised his head slowly from where he had been staring at the controls. His gaze was unfathomable, and something in his manner was telling me, _you really don't want to know. _After a moment, there was a jolt, signaling that the TARDIS had landed. Briskly he turned away from me and headed towards the door, shrugging off his memories without looking back. I followed him more cautiously.

Neither of us brought up Martha again.

* * *

At first I couldn't figure out why he had brought me to that planet. The place was barren, no grass or plant life of any kind, and the air was slightly difficult to breath. Noticing my dubious expression, he smiled a bit. "Just wait," he promised me. "This will be worth your while."

The sun was going down as we arrived, but it wasn't a particularly beautiful sunset- at least, not until the sun was gone from the sky. That was the strange thing about this world: when the sun disappeared, the sky got _brighter_, not darker. And the atmosphere was so amazingly clear that it was easy to see what was casting this bright light.

Stars.

Millions upon millions of them, all visible to the naked eye. Suddenly, it was as if there was no blackness, no emptiness of space- only stars. The light of the stars washed out the afterglow of the sun, bathing the ground in a silver light that was brighter than day.

The man who was not my Doctor stood next to me and whispered quietly, "This planet revolves around a star close to the center of a galactic cluster. The stars here are packed closer together than anywhere else in this galaxy, you could sit here for the rest of your life and never be able to count the number of stars you can see."

Fascinated, I watched as more and more shining points of light blinked into existence across the expanse of the sky. It was encouraging to see stars appearing rather than disappearing for a change. "What is the name of this planet?"

"Actually," he told me with interest, "This planet has no name. There's no life here, and no explorers ever come this far into the cluster to bother naming it. It remains empty and nameless forever. Bit sad, really."

I frowned at the thought. Something so beautiful and clear ought to have a lovely name, or at least someone to appreciate it. But there was only us. Unthinkingly I slipped my hand into his, seeking the comfort his other self had always offered. Surprised, he turned towards me, familiar eyes searching my face. We gazed at each other for a long time like that, uncertain and shy. For just a moment I wanted… well, I thought it might be nice to kiss him.

As soon as that occurred to me, I repressed the impulse and pulled away from him, wrapping my arms around myself as a barrier. However much he looked like the man I longed for, he was _not_ my Doctor, and to get further attached to him would be wrong for both of us. With some difficulty, I turned my attention to the heavens again, determined to forget about what I had nearly done.

This was not my world.


	2. Part 2 The Wrong Word

**Part 2- Wrong Word**

_There's too many different realities. Trust me, the wrong word in the wrong place can change an entire causal nexus._

* * *

We spent hours watching the stars, just reveling in their simple beauty. It was a small planet, though, so it wasn't long before the sun began to rise again, overwhelming the night sky. With a silent understanding, we stood and returned to his ship.

Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor prepared to take me back to when we had met.

"I hope you're a better driver than the Doctor from my world," I said, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. "First time he tried to get me home, we came back a year after I'd left. Mum had missing posters up and everything."

He paused in his driving to look at me reassuringly. "I'll get you back, Rose."

"Tyler," I told him suddenly, impulsively. "It's Rose Tyler." I hadn't told him my full name before this, thinking it was best that he not get too interested in me. But now… something had occurred to me on that nameless planet. No, this wasn't my world… I couldn't stay here, be here for this lonely man. But maybe there was someone who could.

"You know," I continued, "It's possible- likely, even- that there's a version of me in this dimension, even if she never worked at Henrik's. I'm sure she would appreciate a trip, someday."

Amusement flashed across his face as he glanced at me. "Are you suggesting something?"

I shook my head innocently. "Just saying, maybe you need someone, is all." And why shouldn't that someone be me? We'd been the perfect team back in my universe; I had no reason to think it would be different here.

"I'll certainly keep that in mind… Rose Tyler," he assured me, flicking a final lever down. The engines slowed their humming, and the TARDIS came to a stop. Checking the viewscreen, he grinned, satisfied. "Only two minutes after we left. Not bad. I suppose it's time for you to catch your ride?"

I glanced down at my medallion, checking the readout. "Yeah." Looking back at him and the TARDIS again, I drank in the familiar sight, almost not wanting to go. But I had a home of my own to get back to. "Thanks," I told him self-consciously. "For everything."

He nodded. "Be careful."

After one last look, I pressed down the button, and the world dissolved around me.

* * *

That was one of the longest jumps I have ever experienced. Technically the Void is timeless, but to me it seemed as if I was there for much longer than usual. It felt like I was crawling through mud, and for a minute I wondered if I was going to make it back.

When Torchwood finally blinked into existence around me, I felt overwhelming relief. Also, to my surprise, I found that I was exhausted. Strange. I hadn't done anything strenuous during the jump, other than tackle someone who didn't recognize me. I had, however, managed to change things in that universe, most likely for the better. At least, once my parallel self had joined him, maybe that Doctor would be less lonely and brooding. I had made a difference.

At least, that was what I thought.

A few seconds after I returned to "Pete's World", Mickey dashed into the room which held the Cannon. Seeing that I had returned, he ran up and swept me into a crushing hug. "Rose! Oh my God, Rose, you're back!"

"What?" I pulled away, confused. "Course I'm back!" Staring at him then, I discovered I could see real fear in his eyes. "Come on, Mickey, I've made hundreds of jumps before this. What's the problem?"

"Rose, don't you know…" He searched my face, and he must have realized I didn't understand. "I suppose you don't." His expression turned grim. "Come with me."

He led me to the control room, which was bustling with activity. I looked around with suspicion. It was too busy for just an ordinary jump. What had gone wrong?

In the center of all the activity was Quinn, one of the key designers and technicians of the Dimension Cannon Project. He was some sort of young genius Dad had hired from America, specifically because of his interest in parallel worlds. When he saw me across the room after that jump, his face lit up with relief. "Rose! You made it!"

"Yeah, no problem… Quinn, what the hell is going on?" I demanded angrily. "This was an ordinary jump… wasn't it?"

He shook his head slowly, realizing that I had no clue what was happening. "I'm afraid not." He paused, like he was not sure how to continue. "Rose, just before you returned… you know we track timelines with the Cannon, especially the timelines closest to where you're located. Right before you came back, the universe you visited and the one next to it just… blinked out of existence. They disappeared, absolutely no data, and we couldn't figure out why."

Next to me, Mickey slipped his hand into mine. "We thought you were dead," he said quietly.

Dead? But… no, that couldn't be right. "There must be some mistake," I insisted. "I was just there, everything was fine. The Darkness hardly touched that world! Check the data again!"

"There's no mistake," the technician informed me regretfully. "Those universes, those timelines, they no longer exist."

But that meant… the Doctor I had just spoken to, encouraged to find me… was he gone? Erased from existence? I pushed away stirring feelings of grief in my hurry to figure out how such a thing was possible.

"Then what happened?" I asked Quinn. "What could make two universes disappear like that? Was it the Darkness?"

"No. The Darkness wouldn't eliminate two universes in a split second; it spreads slowly. This was something else. We're pulling the last data we received from those universes right now."

As he spoke, Quinn tapped busily at the console. Then he frowned. "What is it?" I asked, peering over his shoulder.

"That's odd. A few years after the time period you visited, it looks like something was dragged into the universe next to it, the second one that disappeared."

"Can you tell what it was?"

"Hold on… it was a person, I think. Tracking their timeline…" He grew silent.

"What?" I demanded. "Quinn, who was it?"

He turned to face me regretfully. "Rose, their timeline converges with yours about seven, eight years ago. It was your parallel self."

I felt myself going numb. My double… I had told the Doctor I met, not very subtly, to go find my parallel self and travel with her. Before I had visited that universe, she hadn't traveled between dimensions. Now she had… and it wasn't difficult to figure out why.

"Why?" I asked, pleading for an answer. "Why did this happen? How…"

"Something broke down the walls between the two universes, I think. They collapsed under the strain."

Mickey's grip on my hand suddenly grew tighter. "Come on Rose, why don't you have a rest for awhile. We'll figure this out, you just go relax." He began pulling me away, but the tightness in his voice told me something different.

"No." I pulled away. "Quinn, what was it? What broke down the walls?" I asked, even though I dreaded the answer.

"I'm sorry, Rose," he said quietly. "The energy signal matches that of the TARDIS. It can only have been the Doctor."

The world around me faded as I realized the enormity of what I had done.

_Can't you come through properly?_

_The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse. _

And then…_ I'll certainly keep that in mind…_ _Rose Tyler._

_He can't have,_ I thought woodenly. _He wouldn't have… he never… my Doctor…_

But it wasn't my Doctor that I spoke to. It was another, a lonelier, wilder version of the man I loved. Someone who had already lost someone dear to him and wasn't going to stand for it happening again. Someone who was willing to destroy two universes to get back to the one he loved.

_Oh, God, what have I done?_

Unable to speak or even think clearly, I turned and strode towards the door, leaving Quinn to shake his head and Mickey to run after me. "Rose…"

"Stop it," I muttered, refusing to look at him.

"Rose, it wasn't…"

I knew he wasn't going to quit, so I whirled around and faced him. "Don't, Mickey," I snarled. "Just don't. Leave me alone."

"But…"

"_Shut up!"_ I choked. After everything that had happened today, I did not want to end it sobbing here in the middle of the Torchwood hub. I _needed_ to get away, and Mickey finally seemed to get the message. He fell back, dejected, as I strode out into sunlight that mocked the despair I was feeling inside.

* * *

My memories of what happened after that are… vague. That time, like the days right after Bad Wolf Bay, was dark and felt endless. I refused to return to Torchwood or make any more jumps. Hadn't I screwed things up badly enough already?

I couldn't go back. The Doctor- the parallel Doctor- had asked me if I was qualified to tamper with parallelities. I confidently told him I was. And now he was gone, as if he never existed, because I thought I knew how things should be. Not unlike the time I tried to save my father's life, I reflected miserably. The Doctor had called me a stupid ape back then, but I'd never really felt I deserved the title until now.

Meanwhile, the darkness spreading in the skies matched the shadows in my heart, until I was unable to ignore either. Mickey came round often, and finally I didn't have the energy to shut him out.

"Listen, Rose," he said earnestly, although I refused to face him. "It's gettin' worse. Half the time the Cannon doesn't work for me. I've been a part of this world too long. We need _you_, Rose."

"No you don't," I told him desperately. "You've got my recorded message, right? Keep transmitting that…"

"We have been, but no one's responding. Either they're not seein' your message or they have no way of replying, but I don't want to take the chance."

"But…"

"Will you listen, for once?" He said, his voice raising in frustration. "It's all on the line right now- _every_ universe. What happened earlier wasn't your fault, but it _will _be your fault if reality goes to hell because you're afraid to make a mistake. Think about it… what would the Doctor do?"

Mickey rarely mentioned the Doctor, he knew how painful thinking of him was for me, especially now. For a split second I wanted to slap him for being so insensitive. But the name did catch my attention… and for the first time I realized I didn't like what I saw.

_The Doctor wouldn't do this,_ I'd said, one Christmas long ago. _He'd wake up. He'd save us._

I was just trying to go back to sleep.

At that point, I knew I was beat. I let out a long, drawn out sigh as my head slipped down to rest on Mickey's shoulder. "Alright," I whispered, relenting.

"What?"

"I said alright. I'm… I'm coming back."

Mickey said no more, just put his arm around me and held me. I was glad he was there. He was always there for me.

Never mind that the one I wished were here to hold me was many universes away.

* * *

"_I've told you, don't salute." _

"_Well, if you're not going to tell us your name..."_


End file.
